Sex for Octagenarians

**disclaimer, this is not an actual patient account, but a collage of various experiences with names and specifics changed to protect health information.

As many of you know, I have been spending the past two months working with an urologist here at school. This has been a surprisingly rewarding experience for me, and I am a bit sad that it is coming to an end soon. Most of our cases that come to the office involve urinary tract infections, kidney stones, prostate and bladder cancer, or various "itises" that are only inflammations but are presenting themselves as if they maybe a more serious affair. In addition to these cases, we also get our fair share of erectile dysfunction. Now, it is one thing when the patient presenting with erectile dysfunction in their fifties, however, when they are well into their eighties, it is pretty amazing to me.

There is so much in the news today about therapies, pills and exercise programs that we can do in order to live longer lives. However, when I see a many of these older patients, it becomes crystal clear to me that a longer life is not better than a quality life. After a day of seeing a number of elderly patients in poor health, the urologist I work with asked me, "So, how old do you want to live to be?"

You see, most of the people who show up at the office who are in their eighties are not thinking about having sex with their husbands or wives (or girlfriends/boyfriends, for that matter!) These people are generally concerned with trying to be generally free of pain and discomfort, or are really just trying to stay alive. Some people, when asked about their sex life, haven't had one for years, even though they are still married. In addition, a good percentage of these patients are not as sharp mentally as they used to be, so the physicians are really just trying to patch things together and trying not to make a bad situation worse. Now, to be almost ninety, be of pretty sound mind and body, and to have erectile dysfunction as your chief complaint? That is something that many of us can only hope for.

And that is where the 80-something year old guy comes in, let's call him Mr. Jones. My hat is off to him. Mr. Jones is basically of both sound mind and body (more or less). On top of that, he is still able to maintain an intimate relationship with his spouse (in this case, a re-marriage going on twenty years). What a life! His quote to me? "Sometimes the wife still likes to play around." It is a cute way to say it, but I feel like it was very sweet. Maybe like the x-rated version of the feeling you get when you see the older couple going for a walk and still holding hands.

My answer to the urologist about how long I wanted to live? To live as long, but also as well, as Mr. Jones. That is clearly the way to go.